Life is short, God is in control, and He's still good -- SO good!

A year after our friends suffered through a stillbirth (Brooks), I find myself reflecting on the brevity of life again.

Samuel Erik Apinis died after four weeks. Samuel is the son of Bryan and Kathryn. Bryan is on staff with North Point Community Church and is the Director of community groups in our area.

As a group leader, I meet with Bryan on a quarterly basis. We've met three times since our group launched in January.

At our first meeting, Bryan revealed Kathryn was pregnant.

At our second meeting, Bryan revealed "the baby" had a heart condition and would immediately require surgery. Although concerned about the surgery, he seemed more concerned about Kathryn's concern she wasn't going to be able to hold the baby in the days/weeks immediately following the surgery. With Emily pregnant and recalling how it felt not holding Maddie for over six hours after she was born, the news hit close to home.

At our third meeting, Bryan revealed "the baby" wasn't going to require surgery until it was older. We celebrated the news and looked forward to the birth. Micah was a few weeks old at the time. I had forgotten what it was like to have a newborn and reminded Bryan of what was to come.

If you've followed their blog, you're aware of what has happened. I believe Samuel, as well as Bryan and Kathryn, have had more of an impact on the lives of others in four weeks than I have in 28 years.

Their testimony of faith is amazing and I can only hope that Emily and I would respond to tragedy in the same way.

For me, Brooks and Samuel are reminders that life is short, God is in control, and while the outcome can be tragic, he's still good -- SO good.

"I don't know what to do with the fact that God answered all my little requests but did not answer my big one. I am thankful for His faithfulness in the small things, and I continue to trust that He is good and loving. He is my comfort in this new day without Samuel. But I don't know why God didn't save the day and heal my son. I will probably never know. What I do know is this: what God asks of me is my trust in Him, my continued faith, my obedience to Him, and my heart. He wants me to come to Him in the dark times and continue to proclaim His goodness (He IS good!), and He wants me to love Him. Those things I will seek to do with all my heart, but I know some days it will be harder to do than others. I know I can rest in His unchanging grace, and I know on the harder days, He can handle my sorrow, anger, and lack of faith. I will strive to authentically walk this road of grief before me and let God, who did not heal Samuel's heart, now heal mine."